oral histories

How would you describe where you grew up in Florida?

Pensacola was a very religious place. When I was growing up in high school, it had the highest number of churches per capita in the US. It was very religious, very Baptist, a big African American community, so most of the teachers at the preschool that I went to were African American.

What were you like in high school?

I was always a little bit of a rebel. I had this uneven haircut, this funky alternative thing, and I wore torn jeans and all this sort of stuff. I got called into the dean’s office because my jeans were torn and it was against the rules. They made me wait there for quite a while. I got in to see the dean and I’m like, “You’re wasting my learning time with this because I don’t think this is really that important.” Most of my teachers knew that my parents were teachers and they knew them, so they were like, “Alright, whatever.” I didn’t really get in too much serious trouble.

Why did you decide to study in Canada?

I came on the most beautiful June day ever. It was gorgeous blue skies. I stayed in one of the dorm rooms at UBC, and was like, “Okay, this sounds good.” Tuition was super cheap because the American dollar was strong and tuition was way cheaper than at the American universities. They gave me a scholarship for being an international student, and I’m like, “This is awesome! I can get this degree practically for free!”

Did you have any trouble getting here in your truck?

I arrived January 2nd at ten o’clock. I got to the border and they’re like, “You need to show proof you can be financially supported.” So I had to call my parents at midnight their time, and I’m like, “They’re not going to let me in Canada unless you send these papers.” My Dad had to go to his office and fax all this stuff to the Canadian border people before they would let me in. So that was sort of crazy.

Did you notice any cultural differences at school?

It was the first time really understanding some subtle cultural differences between Americans and Canadians. In every classroom, there was always discussion time. That was what you do in graduate school. You read and then you go to class and you discuss. I have no problem with sharing my opinion and talking. I’m like, “Why are these people not talking more? They’re so quiet.” That was the first realization of gregarious, maybe too loud American, and the polite “Wait your turn” “I’ll say something when I really think it’s important and necessary” kind of Canadian way of being.

How did Canadians respond to you being American?

There was a fair amount of anti-Americanism. Americans, we’re all totally egocentric and we never think about what other people think of us. Most people, when you meet me, you don’t know that I’m American. So I would hear it a lot and be like, “God, people really hate the US. Oh my gosh.” Sometimes it was super awkward. Later on in the conversation, “Oh, where are you from?”

“Actually, I’m American. You remember like ten minutes ago when you were bashing Americans? That was me.”

So that made it a little bit hard. Then having to explain that I’m not from the part of Florida that every Canadian knows. That there are not really palm trees where I’m from. There are no snow birds, that sort of thing.

What did you think about the snow?

I was like, “What’s going on?” The people in my program were super nice and they explained to me what is fleece, and what is Gore-Tex, and what is a toque. I didn’t know any of this stuff.

What helped you adjust to living in Canada?

I’m super thankful that I got involved with Pride UBC because those are still the people that are my friends today. I met them that first year I was here and we’re still friends, the whole group of us. It was a bonding kind of time.

What interests you about working in museums?

Being an immigrant and being a person who travels a lot, understanding place has always been so important to me. Being curious about other people’s places and to feel at home in a new place, understanding the geography, the culture, its history, all those things to understand the place that you’re in. That’s always been an underlying thing for me in terms of why I think museums are important and why I think cultural sites are important and what we do for the community.

Why did you decide to stay in Canada?

This is where being gay is a big part of it, because it was never an option for Sara [Rebecca’s wife] to move to the States. So if we wanted to be together, I had to move here. Which, in some ways, made it easier because that would have been a hard discussion to have — “Why don’t you come to America with me?” We never had that discussion.

What do you miss about Florida?

There’s lots of things I miss. You can’t get decent barbeque anywhere in the Lower Mainland. If I was having a bad day, I’d go get barbeque. My whole life, that’s what you did. As soon as we go home, even if I’m not in Florida, I’m like, “Where’s the nearest barbeque restaurant? I’ve got to get some barbecue.” I definitely miss that.

How do you feel about being Canadian?

Pretty soon it will be half my life (living here). It’s certainly most of my adult life. I don’t know at what point I’ll feel Canadian. I’m not sure if I would know. Maybe I already feel Canadian a lot of times, but when do you start to really identify as Canadian? When I first moved here, I used to go home regularly, at least every year, maybe twice, or three times, and then sort of less and less. At some point it became, when I would go back to Pensacola, it was like it didn’t feel so much like home and then when I had come back to Vancouver, I would be like, “Good, I’m home now.” There’s that local version of home and then there’s that national version of home. I haven’t quite got to the “I am Canadian” yet. I think I’m close. We’ll see.